Ilang taon na rin naman ako na nasa Ortigas. Kaya naman di ko maiwasang mapansin ang kaibahan ng Pasko ngayon kumpara sa mga nagdaang taon.
Kakaunti na lang ang palamuti sa kalye. Yung mga parol na nakasabit sa mga poste ng ilaw, hindi na kasing dami, kasing kulay at kasing sigla. O baka naman hindi ko na lang napapansin dahil sa paglipas ng panahon, unti-unti na akong nasanay, nanawa at naging manhid sa aking paligid?
Ang mga tao sa mall, parang kakaunti na lang din. Dati-rati, siksikan ang tao at di magkamayaw sa pagbili. Ngayon, maluwag ang Megamall. Madaling makapagsukat ng damit, walang pila. Ang mga restoran, hindi na rin ganun kapuno. Malaya kang makakapasok at makakahanap ng mauupuan. Marahil totoo nga ang krisis sa ekonomiya at naghihigpit ng sinturon si Juan.
Wala na rin akong ganang bumili ng regalo. Nung mga lumipas na taon, ganitong araw pa lang ay mga regalo na ako para sa mga pamagkin ko. Gustong gusto ko pa nga noon na pumasok sa toy store at maghanap ng bilin nila. Subalit ngayon, nakakatamad. Ni ayaw ko ngang tumuntong sa toy store. Ang dating saya sa paghanap at pagbili ng regalo, naglaho na.
Ang trapiko, hindi na rin ganun kasikip. Kung nung isang taon, oras ang binibilang bago ako makauwi, ngayon, mga isang oras lang nasa bahay na ako. Nagkukulong na lang ba si Juan sa bahay dahil sa hirap sa buhay?
May katotohanan ba ang kasabihan na ang pasko ay para lang sa mga bata? Sa paglipas nga ba ng panahon at sa ating pagtanda, unti-unting kumukupas ang saya ng pasko? Ang dating pananabik nga ba sa matatanggap na regalo ay napalitan na ng panghihinayang sa perang gagastusin? Saan na napunta ang ningning ng mga mata tuwing may bagong damit at sapatos? Nasaan na ang tawanan, kulitan at hagikgikan ng magkakaibigan?
Marahil ay materyoso ang pananaw ko sa pasko. Ayokong maging ipokrito. Pero sino nga ba talaga sa atin ang buong tapang at buong pusong makakapagsabi na ipinagdiriwang niya ang pasko dahil kay Kristo?
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Monday, November 24, 2008
Forbidden desire
Haven't updated this blog for a few months now. Been quite lazy, hehe. Anyway, below is a rough poem I wrote earlier. Not really a good one, but it's been years since I've really written anything. I hope it's decent enough for a restart. If not, well you can't do anything anyway since this is my blog. Hehe
Understand this.
I want you more than I have ever wanted anyone.
I crave you more that I have ever thought possible to crave someone.
Your mere existence engulfs me with wanton fervor that drowns away reason
However, I cannot allow myself to embrace this carnal desire
That will take me down a path of both ecstasy and pain
An adulterous web I am neither strong nor willing to recover from.
Understand this.
I want you more than I have ever wanted anyone.
I crave you more that I have ever thought possible to crave someone.
Your mere existence engulfs me with wanton fervor that drowns away reason
However, I cannot allow myself to embrace this carnal desire
That will take me down a path of both ecstasy and pain
An adulterous web I am neither strong nor willing to recover from.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Picture and messages
Showed my face picture for just 1 day in g4m and I already got more messages compared to about 2 months of facelessness.
It's nice to know that there are those who think I look good enough to be sent message. However, people should really know how to send more than his and hellos. And what's up with people asking for more picture when they themselves have like 2 or none at all?
It's nice to know that there are those who think I look good enough to be sent message. However, people should really know how to send more than his and hellos. And what's up with people asking for more picture when they themselves have like 2 or none at all?
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Common misconceptions
For some reason, people almost always think I'm Chinese. When I tell them I'm not, the next thing they ask is "sigurado ka? ano apelyido mo?" There are also those who don't ask anymore. Iniintsik na lang ako basta.
Another misconception is that I'm rich. This is related to the above. Here in the Philippines, parang tingin ng tao lahat ng Chinese mayaman. Pinoy na lang yata ang mahirap dito.
The third, which is also related to 1 and 2, is that I'm from La Salle. Pag sinasabi ko yung school ko, parang di makapaniwala yung nagtatanong. Di ko alam kung maiinsulto ba ko na tingin ng iba e di ako papasa ng UP, o matutuwa na di ako mukhang pobre. LOL.
Another misconception is that I'm rich. This is related to the above. Here in the Philippines, parang tingin ng tao lahat ng Chinese mayaman. Pinoy na lang yata ang mahirap dito.
The third, which is also related to 1 and 2, is that I'm from La Salle. Pag sinasabi ko yung school ko, parang di makapaniwala yung nagtatanong. Di ko alam kung maiinsulto ba ko na tingin ng iba e di ako papasa ng UP, o matutuwa na di ako mukhang pobre. LOL.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
cruising?
Was walking around the other night and saw some very cute guys. Some were obviously gay/bi as they looked at me straight in the eye as we passed each other. Some I have the feeling like I'm going to have my ass kicked big time. LOL. I really need to have my gaydar upgraded.
Oh and there was also a very attractive girl that looked at me in the eye when I passed her table at Starbucks. I think she was even smiling a bit. Or maybe I was just imagining it. Anyway, the other 2 guys she was with were very hot!
Passed by a bar with people dancing. Most of the patrons were guys and definitely gays. I wanted to go in and enjoy the dance music but the place was full. (Glass wall so I can easily see if there are any vacant tables) . Plus I chickened out. Haven't really gone inside a bar alone. And frankly, I have no clue how to conduct myself in such a situation. Would I look stupid being alone on my table when the other tables are jam packed?
Anyway, I noticed that there are more people who look at me when I wear long sleeved polo shirts with the top 2 buttons undone than compared to say when I'm just wearing t-shirt and jeans. I don't know if I look better that way. I do know however that I like the attention! But please, people should approach and say hi. I'm just too shy to make the first move.
Oh and there was also a very attractive girl that looked at me in the eye when I passed her table at Starbucks. I think she was even smiling a bit. Or maybe I was just imagining it. Anyway, the other 2 guys she was with were very hot!
Passed by a bar with people dancing. Most of the patrons were guys and definitely gays. I wanted to go in and enjoy the dance music but the place was full. (Glass wall so I can easily see if there are any vacant tables) . Plus I chickened out. Haven't really gone inside a bar alone. And frankly, I have no clue how to conduct myself in such a situation. Would I look stupid being alone on my table when the other tables are jam packed?
Anyway, I noticed that there are more people who look at me when I wear long sleeved polo shirts with the top 2 buttons undone than compared to say when I'm just wearing t-shirt and jeans. I don't know if I look better that way. I do know however that I like the attention! But please, people should approach and say hi. I'm just too shy to make the first move.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
I'm Superman!
So I took this online quiz just to see which superhero I am. And the result is pretty cool since I am really a Superman fan. I don't like being Hulk though. The big green, angry and stupid (well apparently he's smart in the comics now) character just doesn't appeal to me.
Green Lantern is also pretty cool with his power ring that lets the wielder conjure anything he wants.
Your results:
You are Superman
Click here to take the "Which Superhero am I?" quiz...
Green Lantern is also pretty cool with his power ring that lets the wielder conjure anything he wants.
Your results:
You are Superman
| You are mild-mannered, good, strong and you love to help others.  |
Click here to take the "Which Superhero am I?" quiz...
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Latter Days
Watched Latter Days tonight. A gay film with a Mormon and a pretty boy as lead. And it's just great!
It has this lightness and innocence, and sweetness in it but still manages to raise sensitive questions: does homosexuality have a (good) place in religion? Is it wrong to be gay? Can God forgive gay people?
The line that struck me was "God can forgive us for what we have done, but not for what we are." "Are" here referring to being gay.
As a Catholic, I've been taught that it is wrong to be gay. We have the biblical story of Sodom and Gomora, of how the people were punished. But we also have stories of a compassionate and loving and forgiving God.
These conflicting ideas have confused me for years. And they continue to do so.
I wonder, when will I learn the truth? Or has the truth already been taught to me, and I'm just too dense to believe and understand?
It has this lightness and innocence, and sweetness in it but still manages to raise sensitive questions: does homosexuality have a (good) place in religion? Is it wrong to be gay? Can God forgive gay people?
The line that struck me was "God can forgive us for what we have done, but not for what we are." "Are" here referring to being gay.
As a Catholic, I've been taught that it is wrong to be gay. We have the biblical story of Sodom and Gomora, of how the people were punished. But we also have stories of a compassionate and loving and forgiving God.
These conflicting ideas have confused me for years. And they continue to do so.
I wonder, when will I learn the truth? Or has the truth already been taught to me, and I'm just too dense to believe and understand?
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